


Won't Stop.

by UnimpairedDreams



Series: Don't, Can't, Won't [3]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Depression, F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 06:37:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10939020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnimpairedDreams/pseuds/UnimpairedDreams
Summary: If you won't give it up for love. You won't give it up at all.





	Won't Stop.

**Author's Note:**

> 'Big Girls Cry' by Sia.

_I'm at home, on my own_

If home is a motel room then sure, she’s at home but it’s not – Trixie is home and she’s not going to want anything to do with Katya so I guess she’s going to have to place all her eggs in one small, ratty basket and take the crumbling walls of the motel to be her home.

_Check my phone, nothing, though_

Surely she should have texted by now – a sorry, a confirmation of the end, anything to make Katya feel a little less like a stuck record in her own head. A tape on repeat but slowly unravelling as it got caught in her thoughts.

_Act busy, order in_

You don’t go out after a break-up, not if you’re Katya and not without Trixie. No one needs a hot mess in a restaurant but Katya doesn’t need Trixie to know she’s hopeless without her. There’s a yoga mat in the corner of her room – it’s never been used.

_Pay TV, its agony_

Even Game of Thrones hurts, the thought of it reminding her of the last happy memory she has of her dearly beloved, them on a sofa, making out to the soundtrack of death. It’s like every memory has a Barbie imposed on the top – a warning label to stop Katya from ever feeling happy again.

_I may cry ruining' my makeup_

Trixie was always the first person she called when her lungs hurt from crying and her bones shook from the sobs she’d been holding in and she couldn’t form a sentence – does that co-dependency have boundaries when you leave a relationship because she really needs a pink shoulder to rest her pretty little head on.

_Wash away all the things you've taken_

Washing the heavy makeup she’d grown to love off her skin was therapeutic, cleansing almost – but nothing can cleanse passion from one's soul or sadness from their eyes.

_And I don't care if I don’t look pretty_

She had no one to show off to so who cares.

_Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking_

Tears rolled down her face and her days blended into one and the phone would ring but no one would answer because she didn’t care enough to do anything anymore.

_Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking_

Her heart broke many moons ago.

_Big girls cry when their heart is breaking_

She brought the smokes up to her lips and took a drag. This felt good.

 


End file.
